Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
