In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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