New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Randomize