It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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