im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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