You just made me feel so damn special
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
