How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
