I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
