Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
