it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
is wine microwaveable?
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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