ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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