So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Randomize
