too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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