You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize