Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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