Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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