Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize
