i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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