Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
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