she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
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