Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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