I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Randomize
