My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
