Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
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