9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
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