I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
