Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
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