I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
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