I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
