): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
