real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
