I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
