hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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