I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
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