I'm sorry my penis didn't work
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
