i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
