some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
