so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
