Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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