he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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