Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
