Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
