I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
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