Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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