There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
