Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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