u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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