The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
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