She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Randomize
