Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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