Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
