the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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