Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
You made out with two different species that night
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
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