My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
