He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
The adults are the big ones right?
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
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