so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
