Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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