Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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