They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
