so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
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