I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
