I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Randomize
