Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Randomize
