It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
the day after is always just damage control
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
drinking out of a sandbucket again
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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